Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
What does a far-right gal need to do to get a quiet day at work on this political world?
Certainly, that’s what Italian Prime Minister and Trump-whisperer Giorgia Meloni will need to have been questioning as her Hungarian counterpart Viktor Orbán got here to Rome this week. The Hungarian chief was on a mission to chew bubble gum and make erratic statements to the media — and it seems he was all out of gum.
Italian media had a discipline day protecting the assembly, splashing headlines about Palazzo Chigi’s “embarrassment” over deal with the awkward friendship. And Meloni’s coalition companions weren’t shy both: “Now we have completely different concepts,” mentioned Forza Italia chief — and man deeply dedicated to his summer time holidays — Antonio Tajani of the Hungarian prime minister.
Poor Giorgia.
Think about spending most of your time at work attempting to cease your worldwide teammates — all with authoritarian ambitions, a aptitude for the dramatic and intensely skinny pores and skin — from unintentionally beginning one other battle, commerce or in any other case, by offending each other. Or merely mentioning somebody’s bronzer is fading.
Then Orbán confirmed up at her door, turned to the cameras, and introduced that U.S. President and make-up fanatic Donald Trump “has gone too far” along with his sanctions on Russian oil. Orbán vowed he would personally fly to Washington to speak the American chief out of them and repair the scenario himself — like an actual strongman would.
And to verify no world leaders felt omitted, Orbán then pivoted to Europe, declaring that the EU “has no function” and is “out of the sport” in the case of Ukraine. European Fee President Ursula von der Leyen might be thrilled.
Giorgia will need to have been exhausted by this level — and that was all on day one. She had in all probability hoped Orbán would have no less than began the day on a holier notice contemplating his morning started on the Vatican, however to no avail.
“I’ve requested His Holiness to help Hungary’s peace efforts,” Orbán mentioned of his assembly with the Pope. One can solely think about the pontiff’s response, doubtless a mixture of shock and confusion as he restrained himself from questioning the Hungarian chief’s definition of “peace.”
Subsequent time, he would possibly simply name Giorgia and ask her to mediate.
CAPTION COMPETITION
“My hat would possibly say USA, however my physique says YMCA.”
Are you able to do higher? E mail us at pdallison@politico.eu or get in contact on X @POLITICOEurope.
Final week, we gave you this photograph:
Thanks for all of the entries. Right here’s the perfect one from our mailbag — there’s no prize besides the reward of laughter, which I feel we are able to all agree is way preferable to money or booze.
“World domination, one coloring e-book at a time.”
by Val Flynn